Committing to yourself this new year

There’s a lot floating around about new year’s resolutions and whether they’re a good thing.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and say you should think of all of the things you don’t like about yourself and vow to change. Because quite frankly, we have enough challenges in our lives that keep us small and in tiny, little boxes. We don’t need anything else to add to the list, thank you very much.

But I also don’t think it’s necessary to rubbish the idea that resolutions can be helpful, if not refreshing and revitalising at times.

I personally quite enjoy a resolution. And no, I don’t think they only need to come at new year, but equally it’s not unhelpful to have an arbitrary point in the year, where the world seems to have slowed somewhat and we’re all in a haze of cheese, biscuits, chocolate and beer, trying to think about how we can slowly move back into normal routines and feel refreshed and reenergised.

What I’m not an advocate for is to create things that are actually just new ways we can measure our failures against and prove we’re just as rubbish and as doomed as we always thought. Because that’s just not true.

Yes, we need to be realistic. But what if we can actually look at our lives and think about what our 90-year old self would be saying back to us? What would their advice be for what we should focus on for the next year? Maybe that’s a good place to start.

Because chances are, your 90-year old self isn’t going to be too worried about whether or not you have a little bit of cellulite or how many people liked your stuff on socials. And they probably won’t want you to spend even more hours at work with less time to spend enjoying the money you’re earning anyway.

I imagine our 90-year old selves would absolutely be concerned about health, but in a much more holistic way than we think of it today, with the weight of the multi-billion pound wellness industry supporting the idea that you’re just not good enough.

I reckon health would be a bit more about having more peace and clarity of mind, being more present and able to take in the moments you have whilst you’re younger.

I reckon health would be a bit more about connecting with people we love and care for, or even that we just quite like and want to get to know better, rather than people we recognise only through the 6 inch screen that’s welded to your hand every day.

I reckon health would be a bit more about having freedom of movement - being able to walk freely and still have access to go about your daily business without aches, pains and injuries.

I reckon health would be a bit more about doing things we love to do - all of the quirks and weird hobbies that make you individual and exactly who you are.

In fact, I reckon our 90-year old selves would be hugely concerned about health, but not the same version of ‘health’ that has us staring morbidly down at the scales, or using a x10 mirror to zoom in on the small little creases that come up on our faces and dare to say we’ve lived beyond the age of 21.

And I also reckon our 90-year old selves would be saying not to worry if you don’t actually stick to your resolution. Ninety years is a long time to live, and perhaps things aren’t supposed to be permanent.

Maybe we should therefore think about making small commitments to ourselves rather than resolutions. A commitment to our 90-year old self, and how we’ll commit to making sure they can look back at their life with peace, joy, humour and love, all whilst pottering about our days as freely as possible with healthy bodies we haven’t tortured at the command of some distant multi-billionaires profiting from our misery.

We’re all so individual. Yet we’re all so connected. It’s time we make more commitments to celebrate our uniqueness and do more of the things we love to do, rather than more of the things we hate, and sacrificing the things that make us unique.

So this year, I’m committing to taking more time for myself. And not in an individualistic way that isolates me from others and their needs - but in a way that connects me more to myself and others. Something that my 90-year old self will look back on and be proud of. Proud that I listened, and that I lived a life to be happy with, rather than chasing my tail to catch up with other people’s ideals and goals.

And if I don’t keep it? That’s okay. Perhaps I just need it as a kick start for now.

So I’ll leave with one question:

What commitment can you make to yourself to do more or less of, that your 90-year old self will be proud of?